I'm going to keep this short and too the point, hopefully.
The third day was horrible. After my 4:30 class, I barely made it back to my apartment without bursting into tears. I've already had problems with anxiety since I was twelve, and I've never actually gone to be treated or get medication, and I really thought that it was going to be that time. I just couldn't handle it on my own anymore. I called every person I could get a hold of back home and just cried and cried and cried. I wanted to come home. I didn't think I would be able to do it, it was going to be too much for me to handle.
I spoke with my awesome bishop back home, Bishop Jensen on the phone and told him what was going on and how scared I was and how difficult it was for me he reminded me that I was going to do great up here, and that this was the place I was going to have so many essential experiences happen for me in my life.
Coming to BYU-Idaho was something I could not WAIT to happen. The day I found out I was accepted I felt the Spirit so strongly testifying to me that I was going to the right place. I received that confirmation many times after, but through the homesickness, and the fear, I wasn't letting myself remember that.
Long story short, I KNOW without a doubt that this amazing school is exactly where I need to be. Since that day, I've started working harder to remember why I chose this school. I've started reading my scriptures and turning to the Lord day and night and even times in between when I feel the sadness coming back. I've turned to the scriptures DAILY, which is something I haven't done in a while.
The comforting, absolute confirmation that I am in the perfect place for me at this time as been shown to me almost everyday now. I know that without the help of friends, Bishops, teachers, and family back in Utah, I would still be a wreck.
But I want to give a large majority of the credit to my Father in Heaven. I know that without the gift of prayer, it wouldn't have been possible for me to speak to my Heavenly Father and express all my fears to Him. I wouldn't be able to ask for the daily strength to make it through, and push the anxiety aside. The scriptures give me comfort and remind me of the things I feel I've forgotten about, because of how long it's been since I last studied the scriptures.
I feel like already my testimony has grown in just the short time I've been up here. I know that it's because of my Father in Heaven, and scriptures, and inspired people around me that I'm now doing a LOT better.
I'm doing great in my classes. (All As and a B, to be specific) They're fun and interesting. I'm enjoying my roommates, we get real crazy sometimes. I've decided against going to see a doctor at this time for my anxiety. (Not that there's anything wrong with seeing a doctor for those types of things) I just don't feel it's what I need right now.
I know with out a doubt, that this Gospel is true. God lives, and His son Jesus Christ lives, and knows us. His Atonement is REAL! The Holy Ghost can be your companion every second of the day, as you live and make the choices that you should and use the Atonement DAILY. The scriptures are true, and they will guide you and comfort you and give you the strength to make it through anything you might be going through. Prayer really does work, and it's so important to have a relationship with Heavenly Father. Remember to tell Him everything, even when you know He already knows it. It's amazing to just know you can be completely honest, don't hold anything back. And as long as you commit to do it daily, and you strive for that relationship and the guidance from the scriptures, you WILL find it. I PROMISE!!! Don't just pray when you need help, or when your going through a hard time. Pray when you think life's great and just express thanks for everything you have, and then pray for others to find happiness too.
This school is amazing, it's God's school, and you can fee His spirit everywhere. I'm so blessed to be here, and be a part of this experience. This little town of Rexburg is the best place on earth, even though it is really cold. (Seriously, last week the high was 15 degrees and the lowest was -7).
This still ended up being pretty long, but I'm loving my first real adventure. This place has done some much for me already and I can't wait to take more part in this and get more involved in school and in the gospel with my friends and those around me.
This was just a small update! Maybe there will be more to come! Maybe there won't be...who knows!!
Have a dandi day!!
